My encounter with sex work has meant a lot to me. I mean dating sex, of course. Learning to play and have dating sex with so many people is not an easy thing. What I learned about techniques, ways of communicating, the fetish world, and myself will continue to be part of defining my dating sexuality for a long time.

 And it also means work—emotional work, physical work, Dating sex work, spiritual work, healing work, management work, leadership work, legal work, community work…I could go on. Making money in a particular way creates an attachment to money, whatever that way may be. I feel connected to dating sex work as my work. I am proud that I learned all the skills I needed to pay the bills how I needed to.

Digging a little deeper behind the history, behind the pride, I see a different kind of meaning—the meaning of my early twenties. When I think about what Dating sex work means to me, I think of myself at that age. I was about to start sex work, much fresher than I thought I would, and about to learn some of the most complicated and bittersweet lessons I’ve ever learned.

When I started dating sex work, it was just something I did to keep myself occupied while studying. But I was surprised, or somewhat surprised, by my dating work. The more clients I met, the more committed I became. The reason was simple: this job was a perfect fit for me. I was able to learn and apply an incredible number of skills to make money in my way. I started investing hours and hours into website design, HTML coding, SEO, blogging, photography, copywriting, dominance training, etc.

When I started dating sex workers, it was just something I did to keep me occupied while studying. But I also surprised myself. Or rather, I was surprised that I was dating a sex worker.

It was the first big lesson for me in my early 20s. I was capable of so much more than I thought I was, not only in terms of work but also in terms of adapting and succeeding. Before I became a Dating sex worker, I felt I had to follow someone else’s salary and schedule to survive. Through dating sex workers, I realized I was someone who could create my world. For the rather time, I sensed convinced.

Before I realized it, I had spent several years diving deep into the role, giving up other paths in life to focus on this role. There were ups and downs, good days and bad days, but I knew Dating sex work was where I could continue to work. I wanted and needed to remain confident and competent. So I pushed through all the ups and downs and invested in this role with great passion and hope for the future, just like I would invest in a house.

 This house fell. I can’t pinpoint the specific reason for this. Sometimes, I need variety. It used to be exciting to wear black underwear and meet executives in a dungeon, knowing that it would soon upend our social roles. A few years later, it felt as dull as the daily commute.

 In some cases, increasing criminalization made work more difficult. Before, two different mobile phones gave me peace of mind. By the time I was mid-career, surveillance technology had advanced so much that any attempt to use a device felt like a risk. Horror stories about app bans, evictions, and deportation seemed closer and closer.

Most of all, I felt like the work was no longer rewarding. I knew the time I spent doing date sex work had been exciting and valuable to me. But stigma and criminalization prevented me from sharing my skills and experience with anyone outside the Dating sex work community. Shah on my resume. So, dating a sex worker seemed utterly useless to me. Looking back at my life, what was once a testament to my worth now seemed like a monument to wasted time?

Prejudice and criminalization prevent me from sharing my skills and experiences with anyone outside the sex worker community…

This was the second big lesson of my early 20s. My self-esteem was more vulnerable than I thought it would be, and this could be the end for me. Because I had invested so much time, effort, and myself into dating sex workers, I began to value myself against them. Despite feeling increasingly bored, anxious, and unhappy, I clung ever more firmly to the idea that I was successful. Because, at the root of it all, I needed that source of confidence that had touched me so deeply from the start. The source of my self-esteem became the source of my depression.

It wasn’t until depression became a part of my daily life that I had to take a hard look at myself. No one told me that my self-worth depended on dating sex work. And indeed, no one told me that losing that source of self-esteem would mean losing my happiness. I came to accept that dating sex workers was just a way to utilize my skills. My losses while dating sex workers were just losses, and they didn’t leave a lasting mark on me. Jobs change, people change. I don’t keep tied to one reflection of ​​myself. Just as dating sex workers once helped my confidence blossom, now it has developed into a relaxed attitude I never had before.